


Wingardium Leviosa! The Marauders Ep. 0104

by wolfwolfthewerewolf



Series: Marauders Script [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1973, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/M, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Third Year, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Minor Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pre-Canon, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young James Potter, Young Lily Evans Potter, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfwolfthewerewolf/pseuds/wolfwolfthewerewolf
Summary: Episode 4 of 11
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Marauders Script [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897180
Kudos: 3





	Wingardium Leviosa! The Marauders Ep. 0104

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM - AFTERNOON

JAMES, PETER, LILY, JENNY, MARLENE, FRANK, AND ALICE all sit on a couch in the Gryffindor Common Room right near the fireplace. They are talking, laughing, doing work, etc. The portrait hole opens up and in walks REMUS who is leaning on SIRIUS for support. Sirius’ arm is around Remus’ waist and Remus looks a little uncomfortable. Everyone turns around.

JAMES  
Remus!

JENNY  
Look who’s back from the dead!

REMUS  
(sarcastically)  
Haha, real funny, Jen.

LILY  
Remmy’s back!

Sirius swoops his arms under Remus’ legs and picks him up bridal style and walks him over to the couch. Remus’ face goes bright red. 

SIRIUS  
Make way!

The kids move to make room on the couch. Sirius places Remus down and then sits down next him and throws him arm around his shoulder.

FRANK  
How you feeling, Remus?

REMUS  
A lot better.

JENNY  
(lighting a cigarette)  
What even happened to you, mate, gone for three days straight!

REMUS  
Stomach flu.

SIRIUS  
The poor bloke was puking all weekend.

JAMES  
Quite nasty actually, sent him up to the hospital wing Monday morning.

Sirius and James look over to Remus who is bright red again. Sirius winks at him again. Remus looks away, and Sirius frowns.

JENNY  
Glad you’re better then, I had these boys on me the past couple of days asking for nothing but homework answers.

LILY  
You weren’t the only one.

SIRIUS  
Jenny, a fag, please.

Jenny passes him a cigarette and a lighter. Sirius lights the cigarette and takes a long first drag. Remus stares at him with his jaw open a bit. Lily catches this.

JENNY  
Man, Black, don’t you have your own pack?

SIRIUS  
Unfortunately, no.

JENNY  
God, just remember, you owe me big time! Well, this was a great little reunion, but I’m off to my date.

JAMES  
Oh really, with who?

JENNY  
(smiling)  
None of your business, Jamie.

JAMES  
Hmm, so probably a hook up with no name then.

As Jenny walks out of the room, she flips James off. James laughs.

REMUS  
Did I miss anything so far this week?

MARLENE  
Besides James, Sirius, and Peter all getting detention in Potions, then nope.

Remus looks at Sirius, as if to say why didn’t you say anything?

REMUS  
My god, what’d you all do now?

JAMES  
Oh it was nothing!

PETER  
Seriously, Slughorn overreacted.

SIRIUS  
He always does, we barely did anything!

LILY  
I wouldn’t call mixing as many ingredients together in one cauldron ‘till it blows up “barely anything.”

Sirius, James, and Peter all roll their eyes as Remus and Lily laugh.

REMUS  
Sounds like you boys really needed me, then?

JAMES  
We weren’t dying without you.

PETER  
Hmmmm, that’s not true.

SIRIUS  
We almost killed ourselves without you, Rem. James is just too proud to admit it.

James hits Sirius in the arm.

FRANK  
Always taking the piss out of Jamie, not complaining though! I’m gonna head up to my dorm, I got a new broom if anyone wants to come check it out.

JAMES  
(shocked)  
You’re just telling me this now!? 

FRANK  
(teasing)  
You want to see it?

JAMES  
Of course!

SIRIUS  
Would you mind if I went to see it too? That’s only if James doesn’t lock himself in your room with the broom and just stares at it.

FRANK  
Yes, you are completely welcome Sirius, if that doesn’t happen.

PETER  
I’m going too!

FRANK  
Fine, this way!

Frank leads James, Sirius, and Peter up to his dorm. They follow very obediently, almost child-like. Alice stares at Frank as he walks away.

MARLENE  
(teasing)  
Merlin, Alice, you don’t need to make it so obvious that you fancy Frank.

ALICE  
Is it that obvious? I truly don’t mean to be!

LILY  
God, no Alice, you’re fine.

ALICE  
Are you sure? Marlene clearly noticed, who’s saying Frank hasn’t yet!

MARLENE  
Oh, c’mon Alice, let’s go to the dorms. You’re fine.

Marlene and Alice get up and walk to the girl’s dorms, leaving just Remus and Lily. Remus sits on a couch and Lily sits in an armchair.

REMUS  
(awkwardly getting up)  
Well, I guess I’ll be going, I need a new book to read-

LILY  
No, no, no, you’re not going anywhere.

Remus quickly sits back down out of fear and confusion. Lily gets up from the chair and moves right next to Remus. Lily gives him a smirk.

REMUS  
(nervously)  
Did I do something? Am I not aware of something?

LILY  
(whispering)  
Remus… do you fancy him?

REMUS  
(defensively; whisper yelling)  
What! No! You must be joking Lil! Him?

LILY  
Remus, how do you even know who I’m talking about then?

REMUS  
(nervous, defensive)  
I- I don’t know who you’re talking about!

LILY  
Oh, don’t act dumb, you know who! Sirius!

Remus blushes furiously.

REMUS  
(flustered)  
I- never- How dare you!

LILY  
Remus, you know it’s fine. I really couldn’t care who it is you like. If you like girls, fine, if you like blokes, fine, I won’t judge at all. I just want to know if you like Sirius.

REMUS  
(defeated)  
Yeah- I- I do.

Lily wraps her arms around Remus. Remus leans on her.

LILY  
See, I knew it! I can read you like an open book! Now, tell me everything.

REMUS  
What?

LILY  
Oh, c’mon, like when it started, how you knew, everything!

REMUS  
Well, uh-

James walks into the common room and sees Lily hugging Remus and them whispering to each other. He looks shocked. He turns around and walks back to his dorm.

REMUS (CONT’D)  
(kind of embarrassed)  
I guess when we were in the hospital wing and he laid down next to me and read my book, I think that’s when.

LILY  
(excited)  
Oh Merlin! This is wonderful!

REMUS  
I wouldn’t call it wonderful, Sirius is straight, I have no chance.

Lily moves closer to Remus and they start whispering to each other and laughing.

CUT TO:

INT. MARAUDER’S DORM - AFTERNOON 

Remus walks into the dorm and finds Sirius and Peter on their beds practicing the levitation charm without speaking by passing a floating pillow back and forth, and James standing in the center with an angry expression.

REMUS (CONT’D)  
What happened to you? Frank not let you touch his broom?

JAMES  
No, in fact, he did let me touch his broom. I’m angry about something else.

REMUS  
(not caring; walking to his bed)  
Are you gonna tell me what that something else is then?

JAMES  
Yes, I will. I see you and Lily together, hugging, whispering, laughing, every single day.

REMUS  
And?

JAMES  
Don’t “and” me! Are you taking Lily from me?

Sirius looks over to Remus and drops the levitating pillow. Peter is upset about this.

REMUS  
No! Are you mad? Take her? She isn’t your property!

JAMES  
Well- you know what I mean! Are you two snogging behind my back!?

REMUS  
(shocked, almost offended)  
No, not at all! Lily and I are friends, that’s all!

JAMES  
You promise? Friends, that’s all?

REMUS  
Yes, that’s all!

SIRIUS  
(butting in)  
James, I don’t think Remus would keep dating Lily a secret from you. I don’t think he would date her to begin with!

JAMES  
How do we know what secrets he’s keeping from us? He kept being a werewolf a secret for a whole year!

All the boys go silent. Remus quickly and quietly walks into the bathroom, crying. James storms out. Peter and Sirius sit there still shocked.

PETER  
What just happened?

SIRIUS  
Um… I’ll talk to Moony, you find James.

Peter walks out the door and Sirius walks to the bathroom.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
(knocking)  
Remmy, can I come in?

There is no answer from Remus.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
I’m coming in!

Sirius twists the doorknob but it’s locked. Sirius pulls out his wand and points it at the lock.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
Alohomora!

The door clicks open. Sirius goes to turn the doorknob again and enters the bathroom. He finds Remus on the floor in a ball crying. Sirius sits down next to him.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
Remmy, why are you crying?

REMUS  
(crying)  
I’m not crying.

SIRIUS  
(places an arm around Remus)  
Rem, you’re clearly crying.

REMUS  
(going off)  
I’m not hiding anything! The only thing I ever kept secret was being- being a monster, because I didn’t think you’d still want to be friends. But I swear to god, I’m not dating Lil.

SIRIUS  
Rem, how many times do we have to tell you, you’re not a monster! And I know you’re not dating Lil, James is just jealous because you spend more time together.

REMUS  
Lily and I are just friends. James can be…

SIRIUS  
Abrasive, annoying, a prat.

REMUS  
(laughing a little)  
Yeah, sorta.

SIRIUS  
(putting both arms around Remus)  
This will blow over, James never stays angry at anyone for more than a day. Just give him the homework and you’ll all be friends again.

Remus laughs.

INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - NIGHT

James and Jenny sit at the Gryffindor table. Peter is sitting further away from them. Jenny is smoking a cigarette and flipping through a book and James is staring off into the distance with an angry expression. 

JAMES  
(wallowing in self-pity)  
How can he do that! He knows how much I like Lily, I feel betrayed.

JENNY  
I don’t think Lupin is snogging Evans, just… doesn’t seem right.

JAMES  
You see them together! They’re so… close. I want to be that close to Lily.

JENNY  
I get it, you’re wallowing in your self-pity here, but can you have some dignity while doing it? No one’s gonna find you attractive saying things like “I want to be that close to Lily.” Women have standards, you know?

James is caught off guard and goes silent. Sirius and Remus enter the Great Hall. Peter gets up from the Gryffindor table and walks over to them. 

PETER  
I tried speaking to him, Sirius, but he won’t listen. He’s so stubborn.

REMUS  
(under his breath)  
Like always.

Peter, Remus, and Sirius walk over to James and Jenny and sit next to them.

SIRIUS  
James…

JAMES  
Save it. Friends don’t get that close to each other!

Lily walks over to the group, and ruffles Remus’ hair. James shoots him a glare.

LILY  
Hey boys, Jenny!   
(frowning at the tension)  
What’s going on here?

SIRIUS  
James’ convinced you and Remus are secretly shagging and is jealous of it. He won’t talk to Remus.

LILY  
(angrily)  
You’re joking? Potter, after-

Lily quickly glances at Jenny, who is flipping through her book and pretending to not pay attention.

LILY (CONT’D)  
-after everything he’s been through this week, can you get anymore idiotic and insensitive?

James turns to Lily.

JAMES  
(accusatory tone)  
I- I saw you whispering and hugging in the common room!

LILY  
Yeah, because he was just- sick! Remus and I are just friends, you self centered git!

James’ faces flushes.

JAMES  
Ju- just friends?

LILY  
Yes! Now excuse me, I’ll be leaving to sit with Severus because if I have to hear anymore of this idiotic slander from Potter’s mouth, I may lose my mind. Goodbye!

Lily stands from the table and starts storming off.

LILY (CONT’D)  
(turning around)  
And James, Remus deserves an apology!

The group sits in silence.

JENNY  
She means business alright.

None of the Marauders speak and they start putting food on their plates and eating. Jenny continues flipping through her book and taking drags on her cigarette. 

CUT TO:

INT. MARAUDER’S DORM - NIGHT

Remus is putting books and clothing away near his bed. James walks into the dorm and straight to his bed. The boys don’t speak for a bit.

JAMES  
Hey, Moony.

REMUS  
Hi, James.

JAMES  
I am- uh- I’m sorry for earlier, like being mad at you. I was just jealous and didn’t want to think that one of my best friends could betray me like that.

REMUS  
Well, you clearly did.

JAMES  
I know, and I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for the comment on your- condition, I know you were only protecting yourself.

REMUS  
I appreciate it. 

JAMES  
So- um- do you like… accept my apology?

Remus nods, and waits a while before saying anything.

REMUS  
(suppressing a laugh)  
You need to get over this stubbornness and pride rubbish though, I don’t think I’ll be able to last the rest of year with it.

JAMES  
(smiling)  
Yeah, I guess I need to dial it back a notch.

Remus walks over to James and hugs him.

INT. TRANSFIGURATION CLASSROOM - MORNING

The Marauders sit in the middle of Transfiguration class with the rest of 3rd year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. They all look very bored. PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL is rambling on about a new technique they are going to learn. Sirius, James, and Peter play around with their wands and whisper to each other while Remus listens to McGonagall.

SIRIUS  
(whispering)  
You think I can make that book levitate off her desk?

JAMES  
(whispering back)  
Do it, you won’t.

MCGONAGALL  
(as Sirius pulls out his wand)  
Mr. Black, I doubt making the books on my desk fall is going to help you pass your O.W.Ls in this class when the time comes. Maybe you should put your wand away and listen to me for half a second. 

Sirius obediently puts his wand away.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Now, James, since you are such good friends with Black here, you’d be inclined to tell him what I was talking about a moment ago.

JAMES  
Um- I-

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Oh, you weren’t paying attention either. Maybe Mr. Pettigrew will tell the two of you?

Peter pulls out a book and buries his head in it.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Would anyone like to tell these three what I was discussing just before.

MAXWELL’S hand shoots up.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Vane, please enlighten the boys.

MAXWELL  
(cocky)  
We were just speaking about the Lapifors Spell.

MCGONAGALL  
Thank you, Mr. Vane. 15 points from Gryffindor and 15 to Ravenclaw.

All the Gryffindor students groan.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Now back to the Lapifors Spell. As I was saying, the Lapifors Spell is an object to animal transfiguration charm. Does anyone know what animal this spell is centered around.

Marlene raises her hand. McGonagall points at her to speak.

MARLENE   
The rabbit!

MCGONAGALL  
Yes Ms. McKinnon, the rabbit. Now could anyone think of a time when this spell would be most useful?

James, Sirius, and Peter all look at each other menacingly.

JAMES  
Professor, what is the incantation for this spell?

CUT TO:

INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - AFTERNOON

The Marauders sit at the Gryffindor table. James has a cup in front of him and repeatedly waves his wand at it, Sirius and Peter eat, and Remus reads Quidditch Through The Ages.

SIRIUS  
Moons, what’re you reading now?

REMUS  
(not looking up from the book)  
Just rereading Quidditch Through the Ages.

SIRIUS  
Good idea, we’re all gonna have to freshen up on our quidditch knowledge before James goes into full seeker mode for the rest of the year.

James hits Sirius in the arm.

JAMES  
Lapifors!

A small flash of pink light comes from the wand, but hits nothing.  
PETER  
How many more times are you gonna try and use that spell? You’ve been at it all of lunch.

JAMES  
I won’t stop until it works! If I get this right we can turn the Vane kids stuff into rabbits, that’s a pretty great prank.

REMUS  
(sarcastically)  
And if all four of us perfect it we can use it on Snivilous’ stuff!

SIRIUS  
Great idea, Moony!

REMUS  
No, I didn’t mean it-

Jenny sits down next to the Marauders with Severus at the Gryffindor table. Lily follows a little behind them.

JENNY  
Hello boys, what’re we up to?

PETER  
Nothing.

SIRIUS  
(eyeing Severus)  
What’re you up to Jenny?

JENNY  
Oh barely anything, Black. Sevy and I are just having a conversation about herbology.

JAMES  
Sevy?

JENNY  
(clearly talking about Severus)  
Yes, Sevy loves talking about herbology with me, unlike everyone else. Potions and herbology are closely connected subjects, something you gits would not understand nor appreciate.

LILY  
(sitting down)  
Hey, Sev, what’re you doing here?

SEVERUS  
Jenny and I were talking.

LILY  
Oh, how lovely, didn’t know the two of you were friends.

JENNY  
We’re getting to know each other.

Lily sits down next to Severus and moves close to him. James’ face goes red.

JAMES  
Lily! You know, I’m working on the Lapifors Spell right now.

LILY  
Really, Potter? Mind giving me a demonstration?

JAMES  
Not at all.

Sirius, Peter, and Remus cringe at his cockyness. 

JAMES (CONT’D)  
(pointing his wand at the cup)  
Lapifors!

A pink beam of light hits the cup. The cup instantly becomes a tiny rabbit. Everyone is stunned.

JAMES  
I did it!

LILY  
Wow, uh… good job James.

REMUS  
Was not expecting that.

SIRIUS  
Me neither.

SEVERUS  
That’s pretty good, but how are you gonna get it back to a cup?

SIRIUS  
Quiet Snivillous, can’t you enjoy anything?

LILY  
No, Severus has a point.

REMUS  
We’ll take it to McGonagall.

Remus closes Quidditch Through the Ages. The rest of the Marauders start to pack up their things as well. James grabs the rabbit.

JENNY  
(sarcastically)  
Off to mommy McGonagall like always Jamie!

JAMES  
Sod off, Jennifer.

Jenny blows a kiss to James. James snickers and walks off with the rest of the Marauders. Jenny smiles and lights a cigarette.

EXT. THE LAKE - AFTERNOON

Jenny and JOSEPH THOMAS, 14, are kissing by the lake. Jenny wears black ripped jeans, a Gryffindor quidditch jersey, and converse. Joseph wears blue jeans, a jumper, and nice sneakers. Nearby, The Marauders hide underneath James’ invisibility cloak. They are giggling quietly. 

JAMES  
We should levitate her, that would be hilarious!

REMUS  
No, we shouldn’t, that’d be terrible.

SIRIUS  
It wouldn’t be that bad Moony.

JAMES  
She stole my quidditch jersey and then wore it just to snog Joseph for god’s sake!

PETER  
It would also be funny, her expression-

SIRIUS  
Her expression when she finds out it was James!

Peter and Sirius laugh.

JAMES  
Fine, so we’ll do it on three.

Sirius and Peter nod as they pull out their wands. Remus rolls his eyes but still pulls out his wand.

JAMES (CONT’D)  
Alright, one… two… three!

JAMES, SIRIUS, REMUS, AND PETER  
Wingardium leviosa!

They swish and flick their wands right at Jenny. Jenny lets go of Joseph as she starts floating in the air. Both her and Joseph look genuinely surprised. The Marauders are laughing. 

JAMES  
Let’s turn her around now.

They all then move their wands and Jenny spins so her back is facing Joseph. On the back of her shirt it says “POTTER” and “07.” 

JOSEPH  
(shocked; angry)  
You’re wearing Potter’s jersey?

JENNY  
No, not in that way, I swear.

Joseph starts storming off.

JENNY (CONT’D)  
Oh, Joseph, c’mon! Come back? At least help me!

Jenny slowly starts coming down and then finally, a couple feet above the ground, she falls completely, landing on her stomach.

JENNY (CONT’D)  
(angry)  
I swear to god whoever did that is gonna get it! If it’s you Maxwell, mom and dad are getting an earful about ‘the perfect child’!

JAMES  
(unveiling himself from the cloak)  
Jenny, it’s just me!

JENNY  
(storming over to James)  
You- Merlin, you’re done for Potter!

JAMES  
That’s what you get for stealing my jersey!

Jenny furrows her brow.

JAMES (CONT’D)  
You’ve shagged other quidditch players before, take their jerseys.

Jenny starts picking up some speed and James starts running away from her. As he starts running away, Jenny pulls out her wand and points it at him.

JENNY  
Anteoculatia!

A pair of antlers sprout from James’ head. Sirius, Remus, and Peter start laughing, no longer under the cloak. Jenny walks away smirking. James stands still in his spot feeling the antlers on his hand.

JAMES  
She- no- I have antlers!

SIRIUS  
That you do my friend.

JAMES  
Wha- How long?

REMUS  
I’m not sure, at least the rest of the day.

James looks mortified. All four boys start walking and then James’ antlers get tangled in a low hanging branch on a tree.

JAMES  
Merlin…

SIRIUS  
(jokingly)  
Oi! Watch the prongs!

REMUS  
You know they’re antlers right?

SIRIUS  
Yeah, but prongs sounds cooler.

INT. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASSROOM - AFTERNOON

The Marauders sit up front in DADA class, Sirius next James and Remus next to Peter. James still has his antlers. Lily and Severus also sit together. PROFESSOR O’DEMUS, the hot motherfucker, stands at the front, the board is out of the way and it is cleared of all the usual items that sit at the front. 

O’DEMUS  
Today we will be learning a defensive spell, one that can be used in a duel.

The students’ faces light up.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
It is the freezing spell, not be confused with the freezing charm. Does anyone know the incantation to this spell?

The room is silent.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
No? Well, please repeat after me, glacius.

All the students repeat “glacius.”

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Good, good. Now this spell freezes the target with a blast of cold air. Can anyone tell me how this differs from the freezing charm?

Lily’s hand shoots up.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Ms. Evans.

LILY  
The freezing charm, immobulus, freezes things in the sense of not moving. Glacius freezes things in the literal sense, to make extremely cold.

O’DEMUS  
Correct! Now, up here I have a large, golden, goblet with warm water inside. I would like to freeze both the water and the goblet. Please watch:

O’Demus pulls out his wand from his robes and takes his place right in line with the goblet.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
(pointing his wand at the goblet)  
Glacius!

The goblet freezes over and the water turns to ice.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Now, would anyone like to try it on my other goblet?

James’ hand shoots up and he practically jumps out of his seat. Remus shoots James a look and then rolls his eyes. O’Demus catches this expression from Remus.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Remus, would you like to give it a shot? You’re very talented with spells.

REMUS  
(hesitantly)  
Uh- sure, why not?

Remus sluggishly stands from his seat and trudges to the front. 

O’DEMUS  
(allinging Remus with another goblet)  
Right… here! Okay, you’re going to point your wand right at the goblet and speak the incantation loud and clear, Glacius!

Remus takes out his wand and points it at the goblet. He takes another moment to breathe and set himself up.

REMUS  
Glacius!

The goblet freezes over. The class lightly claps. Both Remus and O’Demus smile.

PETER  
Good job, Remus!

SIRIUS  
Nice one, Rem!

O’DEMUS  
Well done, Remus! You’ll have to teach that to Mr. Potter for next time he encounters a fourth year trying to jinx him, maybe he’ll be able to freeze their wand before they give him antlers.

The whole class giggles.

JAMES  
In my defense, I didn’t think the jinx would last for two whole days.

The whole class, plus O’Demus, laughs again.

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - AFTERNOON

The Marauders walk towards the quidditch pitch. James and Sirius wear athletic clothing and carry water bottles, while Remus and Peter carry books. James’ antlers are gone.

SIRIUS  
(mid-conversation)  
I’m just saying, the snakes are the seductors of the forest!

REMUS  
Where did you even get that?

SIRIUS  
What? They are slender, they move real easily, they are totally turning on other animals.

JAMES  
So are you saying that if a snake slithered up to you and started “seducing” you, you’d like… be into it?

SIRIUS  
I wouldn’t be into it! But like-

Remus, James, and Peter all groan in disgust. 

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
If I was an animal!

Sirius starts drinking from his water bottle.

PETER  
(laughing)  
I mean, it kinda sounds like you wank to snakes, mate.

Sirius chokes.

REMUS  
(sarcastically)  
Your mom would probably prefer the snake over any muggle girl. Beside, you’re a product of incest, who said beastiality was out of the question?

James and Peter’s jaws drop open. Sirius hits Remus in the arm and Remus blushes.

SIRIUS  
You’re not really wrong though. Merlin, Moony, always correct.

REMUS  
You know it.

Remus winks at Sirius. Sirius’ face flushes.

JAMES  
(checking the watch on Remus’ wrist)  
Sirius we’re gonna miss practice at this rate! 

SIRIUS  
Merlin, okay. Bye Moony, Peter.

James and Sirius run off to the quidditch pitch. Remus and Peter wave. Lily then walks up from behind.

LILY  
(swinging her arm around Remus’ waist)  
Hello, boys.

Lily slips a chocolate frog into Remus’ trouser pocket. Remus doesn’t realize.

PETER  
Hi Lily!

LILY  
The two of you doing anything important?

REMUS  
Not particularly.

LILY  
Good.

Lily grabs both boys by the arms and runs back up towards the castle. As Lily drags them off, Remus reaches into his pocket and feels the chocolate frog. He smiles.

CUT TO:

INT. EMPTY GRYFFINDOR CORRIDOR - AFTERNOON

Lily runs into an empty corridor underneath the Gryffindor common room with Remus and Peter following. The empty corridor is filled with candles and confetti scattered around. Hanging right on the wall is a banner that says “Happy Birthday Marlene!”

PETER  
This is fancy!

LILY  
I’m putting together a party for Marlene’s birthday! You like the decorations so far?

REMUS  
They’re really cool Lil, when’s it gonna be?

LILY  
The night of the Animagus lecture.

PETER  
Bloody hell, why’re you setting it up a week early?

REMUS  
She’s Lily Evans, that’s why.

LILY  
You can never be too early when it comes to planning!

They all laugh.

LILY (CONT’D)  
You guys should invite whoever, James, Sirius, Frank, loads of people.

PETER  
Yes! Oh it will be brilliant!

LILY  
Exactly!

REMUS  
Sure, we’ll invite everyone we know. Marlene’s gonna love it Lil.

LILY  
Yay, okay then, let’s get back upstairs, I don’t like being down here too long.

All three start heading back up the stairs.

FADE OUT:

INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - AFTERNOON

Severus stands right near the Gryffindor table and nervously looks around. His back faces the entrance. Lily and Remus come waltzing through the entrance of the Great Hall. When Lily spots Severus she starts skipping towards him. She gets right behind him and jumps on his back. Severus gets scared.

LILY (CONT’D)  
(on Severus’ back)  
Hey there, Sev.

SEVERUS  
Hi, Lily.

LILY  
(whispering into Severus’ ear)  
What? Did I scare you?

SEVERUS  
(blushing)  
Kind of. I was more scared you weren’t gonna come.

LILY  
(hopping of his back)  
And leave you alone at the opposing house’s table? Never!

The two sit down, Remus sits right next to them. Then James, Sirius, and Peter run into the Great Hall and sit with the three of them. James shoots a glare at Severus.

SIRIUS  
Are we late?

REMUS  
Nope, just a minute early.

JAMES  
See, I told the two of you we didn’t need to sprint!

JENNY  
(strolling to the table)  
Oh it wouldn’t hurt to get some running in every once in a while, Jamie.

JAMES  
Whatever, Jenny.

JENNY  
Still mad about the jinx? That was Monday, no need to dwell in the past.

Jenny sits across from James.

JAMES  
Say that again when you have to sleep with antlers!

Jenny rolls her eyes. O’Demus walks to the front of the hall.

O’DEMUS  
Students!

The whole Great Hall goes silent and brings their attention to O’Demus.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Yes, thank you. I have quite the idea for today, we are going to duel each other!

The Great Hall stays silent.

O’DEMUS (CONT’D)  
Now, I know that is somewhat the point of this club, but today we will be going up against each other and come out with a winner for today’s meeting! I will split you up by year, so all stand!

CUT TO:

INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - AFtERNOON (LATER)

Pairs of students are scattered around the Great Hall. They are clumped by year. Remus and Sirius stand across from each other while James, Peter, Lily and Severus are clumped around them.

SIRIUS  
You ready Rem? Wouldn’t want you to lose if you weren’t ready.

REMUS  
Me? Not ready? Please, Black, don’t kid yourself. 

SIRIUS  
Fine, then we’re both ready, Lupin.

JAMES  
C’mon boys! You got this!

PETER  
Yeah Sirius, Remus!

LILY  
(whispering to James)  
Who do you think is gonna win?

JAMES  
(whispering back)  
The obvious answer is Rem, but honestly, Sirius is very good at charms.

Sirius and Remus walk up to each other. They bow.

REMUS  
(whispering)  
You’re doomed, Black.

SIRIUS  
(whispering back)  
Wouldn’t be too sure ‘bout that, wolf boy.

Remus’ face flushes. The two then turn around and walk back to their sides. The boys point their wands at each other.

SIRIUS  
Stupefy!

REMUS  
Protego!

A forcefield goes up in front Remus. Sirius’ spell bounces off the forcefield and narrowly avoids hitting him.

REMUS (CONT’D)  
Serpensortia!

A blast of light comes from Remus’ wand and then a snake appears between the two boys. Everyone gasps.

REMUS (CONT’D)  
Turned on Sirius?

SIRIUS  
Far from it! You can’t seduce the ultimate seducer!  
(pointing his wand at the snake)  
Glacius!

The snake freezes over and stops moving.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
(pointing his wand at Remus)  
Everte stahtum!

REMUS  
Protego!

Again, a forefield goes up in front of Remus and Sirius’ spell bounces off, hitting the wall behind them.

REMUS (CONT’D)  
Expelliarmus!

Sirius’ wand flies out of his hand, and into Remus’. Remus smiles.

PETER  
Woo! Remus!

LILY  
Yeah Remmy!

Sirius walks over to Remus. Remus has a menacing smile on his face. Sirius reaches out for his wand, and it looks like Remus will give it to him, but at the last second he pulls it behind his shoulder.

REMUS  
Don’t take it too harsh, Black, I’m sure you’ll beat me next time.

SIRIUS  
(whispering into Remus’ ear)  
You won’t be the only thing I’m beating if you show me a snake again next time.

Remus’ face flushes. Sirius snatches the wand from Remus’ hand and then starts to laugh hysterically.

SIRIUS  
(still laughing)  
Alright Remmy? I was only joking.

REMUS  
(laughing it off)  
Yeah, sorry.

Sirius swings his arm around Remus’ waist. Remus smiles awkwardly. Lily shoots him a knowing look.

FADE OUT:

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM - NIGHT

The Marauders are sitting at the couch in front of the fireplace in the common room. Remus is reading Quidditch Through the Ages. James, Sirius, and Peter pick at a bowl of nuts.

JAMES  
So, how do you feel ‘bout Moony beating you in that duel, Sirius?

SIRIUS  
I feel fine, I know I’ll win next time.

REMUS  
(not looking up from his book)  
Hmm, yeah.

SIRIUS  
Even the champion agrees.

James and Sirius laugh.

PETER  
Oh, Lily’s throwing Marlene a birthday party Tuesday. She told Remus and I to invite you two.

JAMES  
(smirking)  
Evans wants me at a party.

JENNY  
(strolling to the couch)  
Who wouldn’t, you bring the fun, Jamie.

She sits right down at the couch and takes a handful of nuts from the bowl.

SIRIUS  
Always coming out of nowhere Jenny, are you stalking us?

Jenny pulls out a cigarette and lighter.

JENNY  
(lighting the cigarette)  
Ridiculous, Black. No one would want to stalk the four of you, they’d go mad after an hour.

Jenny takes a drag. James tries to grab the cigarette from her hand.

JENNY (CONT’D)  
What do you think you’re doing Jamie?

SIRIUS  
He’s been trying to smoke more often.

REMUS  
Or at all.

JENNY  
Oh don’t Potter, you’d have nicotine shakes like a twelve year old from the forties.

JAMES  
You and Sirius smoke, neither of you have nicotine shakes.

SIRIUS  
Yeah, because neither of us are built like a twelve year from the forties.

JENNY  
Yeah, mate, stay far away. Plus Evans probably won’t find it attractive.

JAMES  
You’re right! God I can be so stupid!

Sirius and Jenny laugh. Remus closes his book and stands from the couch.

SIRIUS  
Where do you think you’re going Rem?

REMUS  
To the dorm, we’ve been down here since the end of dinner. It’s ten now.

PETER  
Merlin, actually?

REMUS  
Yes. Good night Jenny.

JENNY  
Night, Lupin.

SIRIUS  
We should probably head up too, bye Jen.

Sirius and Peter stand from the couch, Peter waves to Jenny.

JAMES  
Guess I’m off too then.

JENNY  
Who said you’d have to go too? We could hang here a bit longer.

JAMES  
I’d love to, Jenny, but you know I won’t make it to transfiguration if I don’t go to sleep now.

JENNY  
Ugh, you’re right, Potter. Nighty night Jamie.

James rolls his eyes at Jenny and then stands and joins the rest of the Marauders walking to the dorms. As he walks away, Jenny takes a drag on her cigarette and stares. She looks him up and down a couple times and then turns her head.

INT. MARAUDER’S DORM - MORNING 

Remus, Sirius, and Peter are sleeping in their beds. James is getting dressed. Remus sits up.

REMUS  
(surprised)  
Why are you up early?

JAMES  
The Animagus lecture is today!

REMUS  
Yes, I know. You’re still up ten minutes early.

JAMES  
You should be happy I didn’t wake up late.

Peter and Sirius wake up and all the boys start getting dressed.

JAMES (CONT’D)  
Boys, we have to look nice today.

SIRIUS  
Why, you now trying to impress Minny?

JAMES  
Yes , actually.

The rest of the boys stop what they are doing and glare at James.

JAMES (CONT’D)  
Not like that, I just want to show her that I take transfiguration seriously.

SIRIUS  
Sure, mate, sure.

Sirius walks over to the mirror and starts fixing his hair. His shirt is still half unbuttoned and his tie just hangs around his neck undone. Remus, already dressed and ready to go, sits on his bed putting together his things.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
Moony, can you do my tie for me?

REMUS  
What?

SIRIUS  
Like tie it, I’m busy with my hair.

REMUS  
(slowly standing up)  
Yeah, sure.

Remus walks over to Sirius who is still doing his hair in the mirror. Remus buttons the rest of Sirius’ shirt and the flips up his collar. 

SIRIUS  
(teasing)  
Woah there Moons.

REMUS  
(nervously)  
What? Did I do something?

SIRIUS  
No, mate, just teasing.

Remus blushes and Sirius goes back to fixing his hair. Remus then ties Sirius’ tie and fiddles with it so that it’s perfect. Finally, he flips Sirius’ collar back down.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
Thanks mate.

As Sirius walks away from the mirror, he ruffles Remus’ hair. Remus blushes again.

JAMES  
Moony, can you tie my tie?

SIRIUS  
God, James, shouldn’t you know how to do that by now?

JAMES  
But- you-

SIRIUS  
Let’s get going, we wouldn’t want to keep Minerva waiting.

INT. HOGWARTS GREAT HALL - MORNING

The Great Hall already has some third year students sitting around. McGonagall stands at the entrance. The Marauders come waltzing through the doors.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
(passing McGonagall)  
Hey, Minny.

MCGONAGALL  
Mr. Black, I don’t remember saying you can call me by that name.

SIRIUS  
Oh yes, sorry Minerva.

McGonagall shoots him a look and he stops smiling. She then looks back to the entrance and the Marauders walk to their seats.

PETER  
I thought she was gonna give you a detention.

JAMES  
She likes Sirius too much for that.

They take their seats at the gryffindor table.

JAMES (CONT’D)  
I wonder when Lily will show up? I bet soon, she’s never late. I don’t get how she’s never late and always looks so good, it’s quite the miracle.

REMUS  
That’s because you wake up seconds before you have to go somewhere.

JAMES  
I do not! When Lily and I start dating, I’ll never be late anywhere, I know she would love to always see me being on time.

Lily and Marlene walk over. Lily hits James over the head.

LILY  
We’re never gonna date, Potter.

JAMES  
Okay, Evans, but just you wait and see.

Lily rolls her eyes and sits next to Remus. Marlene sits across from Sirius. 

MARLENE  
Hi, Sirius.

SIRIUS  
Oh hey, happy birthday!

MARLENE  
Thank you.

REMUS  
Oh yes, happy birthday Marlene!

PETER   
Happy birthday!

JAMES  
Happy birthday!

MARLENE  
(giggling)  
Thank you!  
(getting serious)  
So, uh, Sirius, we’re going to Hogsmeade in a couple weeks and I was wondering if you-

SIRIUS  
(disregarding Marlene)  
Rem, you made my tie so tight!

REMUS  
I didn’t make it tight, you just never wear it tied.

SIRIUS  
(pulling at the tie trying to loosen it)  
Merlin, I haven’t worn my tie correctly in so long…

REMUS  
(reaching over to Sirius)  
Here…

Remus loosens Sirius’ tie. As he’s doing so, Sirius stares right into Remus’ eyes.

REMUS  
(meeting Sirius’ eyes)  
Better?

SIRIUS  
(not looking away)  
Much.

LILY  
(cutting off the conversation)  
So Remus, you reading anything good?

REMUS  
(looking away from Sirius and towards Lily)  
Hmm, oh, not really. I’m just rereading Quidditch Through the Ages.

LILY  
Isn’t that fun.

McGonagall walks to the front of the Great Hall. Now the room is filled with the whole third year.

MCGONAGALL  
Students!

Everyone goes quiet.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
Hello, I’m very happy to see all of you have showed up. This lecture is a very important part of your learning this year. So let us begin. An animagus is a wizard who can turn from a human to an animal. For example:

McGonagall stops speaking and turns into a cat. The students stare in awe. After a minute, McGonagall turns back into a human.

MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)  
There is your live demonstration, not like you all haven’t already seen me do that. But becoming an animagus is much more than just wanting to turn into an animal. The process is long and stressful, but in the end, it’s worth it. Now, that lovely process, what exactly is it? Well it begins with the wizard sucking on a mandrake leaf for one full month, full moon to full moon.

SIRIUS  
(whispering to James)  
Luckily we have a werewolf, he acts like a full moon alarm clock.

James quietly laughs.

MCGONAGALL  
If at any point the wizard swallows or spits out the leaf, the process must be restarted. Once the wizard is successful with the leaf, they will put it into a vial that is in range of the full moon’s pure rays. If the night is cloudy, this will not work.

REMUS  
(to himself/under his breath)  
Only if I didn’t transform on cloudy nights.

JAMES  
You say something, Moony?

REMUS  
Oh, no.

MCGONAGALL  
Along with the mandrake leaf, a hair from the wizard, a silver teaspoon of dew that has not seen sunlight or human feet for a week, and a chrysalis of a death’s-head hawk moth will go into the potion. Once made, the potion must be placed in a quiet, dark place until an electrical storm. While waiting for this storm, the wizard will have to recite the animagus incantation everyday at sunrise and sundown without fail. The tip of their wand on their heart and repeating the incantation amato, animo, animato, animagus. Once the lightning storm approaches, the wizard will have to take the potion and move to a safe spot. One final time, in the electrical storm, the wizard will say the spell and drink the potion. Only then will the wizard be able to transform into an animal.

SIRIUS  
(to the Marauders)  
Quite annoying if you ask me.

MCGONAGALL  
Even if you are to do everything correctly, the transformation can still go wrong. As you can tell, becoming an animagus is nothing for the faint of heart. 

CUT TO:

INT. HOGWARTS HALLS - MORNING

PETER  
Isn’t that something? Who knew becoming an animagus would be so hard!

SIRIUS  
You have nothing to worry about Peter, I don’t see us becoming animagi anytime soon.

JAMES  
I wouldn’t say that mate, I would love to be an animagus.

PETER  
Yeah, I also think it would be kinda cool.  
We could all transform together then.   
(looking over at Remus)  
Didn’t O’Demus say that it would be easier with an animal as a distraction?

JAMES  
That would be wonderful! Imagine all of us running around as animals together.

SIRIUS  
Okay, that would be bloody amazing.

REMUS  
No, it wouldn’t, you’d be risking your lives. I could kill you! Running around with a monster…

JAMES  
Moony, how many times!

SIRIUS  
You’re not a monster! You need to stop with this angst rubbish, the Remus Lupin I know is the farthest thing from a monster.

Sirius swings his arm around Remus.

MCGONAGALL  
(walking up from behind the boys)  
Boys, get to your next class, you’re taking up too much room in the hallway.

SIRIUS  
(in his french accent)  
Of course, Madam.

McGonagall rolls her eyes and quickly walks past the boys.

JAMES  
Oh wait, Professor, I have a few questions!

SIRIUS  
Chasing after Minny, I knew he always had a thing for her.

James runs after McGonagall. The rest of the boys laugh.

INT. HOGWARTS HALLS - AFTERNOON

The Marauders are sprinting down the halls right after their last class finishes.

SIRIUS (CONT’D)  
C’mon boys, we don’t want to be late to the party!

REMUS  
(whispering)  
Merlin, Sirius, be quiet, it’s a surprise.

SIRIUS  
Right.  
(whispering)  
We don’t want to be late to the surprise party.

Remus rolls his eyes.

INT. EMPTY GRYFFINDOR CORRIDOR 

The Marauders run into the corridor where Lily showed Peter and Remus her decorations. Lily, Alice, Frank, and Severus are already down there and waiting. The room is now much more decorated and vibrant with balloons, confetti, etc.

LILY  
Oh thank god you four showed up on time.

SIRIUS  
You really think I’d be late for a party, Evans.

LILY  
(rolling her eyes)  
Of course not Sirius.  
(eyeing Remus)  
Actually, can you and Remmy go back upstairs and catch Marlene before she goes to the common room?

SIRIUS  
Of course! Let’s go Remus!

REMUS  
Uh, I’d rather stay down here. I like to be down here when she walks in.

SIRIUS  
(disappointed)  
That’s fine, I’ll find her.

Lily smiles at Sirius as he runs back upstairs.

REMUS  
(to Lily)  
Did you have to?

LILY  
(smiling)  
Have to what?

JENNY  
(walking in)  
Hopefully I didn’t miss anything yet, that’d be dreadful.

JAMES  
Yes, how can Hogwarts throw a party without the lovely Jennifer Vane.

JENNY  
Exactly, it’d be quite a sad occurrence.

A few other students enter the room.

LILY  
Okay everyone, let’s get ready, she should come down any second.

Everyone fixes themselves and prepares for Marlene to walk down the stairs.

INT. HOGWARTS HALLS (OUTSIDE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM)

Sirius and Marlene walk towards the empty corridor. 

MARLENE  
What’s down here again?

SIRIUS  
My new broom, I want to keep it hidden from James because he’d totally steal it.

Marlene laughs.

MARLENE  
So Sirius, we’re going to Hogsmeade in a couple of weeks and I’m wondering if you’d want to maybe grab lunch together during the trip?

SIRIUS  
Hmmm, like alone, just the two of us?

MARLENE  
Yeah, like… like a date, I guess.

SIRIUS  
(hesitating)  
Uh, sure, yeah why not. Just tell me when and where darling.

Marlene laughs. Sirius looks a little sad.

INT. EMPTY GRYFFINDOR CORRIDOR

Sirius and Marlene walk down the stairs and enter the empty corridor. As soon as they enter everyone yells “surprise.”

MARLENE  
Merlin! Thank you!

JAMES  
All Ms. Evans’ idea.

MARLENE  
Well thank you, Ms. Evans.

LILY  
No problem, love.

JENNY  
Happy Birthday darling, now let’s have fun, I’m in dire need of it!

Everyone laughs.

FADE OUT:

Credits role.


End file.
